Guilty as charged...but this doesn't weigh too heavily on my conscience since its not a male bashing forum because I do give props to those guys who are absolute sweethearts. Unlike John Mayer who has bashed several exes and calling Jessica Simpson, Sexual Napalm, I prefer (as I'm sure the men do too) that I keep them anonymous, with special pet nicknames reserved for those who do dastardly things and deserve a few lashings from my riding crop.
I don't live in the public eye and fortunately have exes whose memories recount only the wonderful moments of our relationship but I have dished and shared the not most kind things and private details with my girlfriends....like:
"Kofax" who informed me that he expected the girl he was dating to take turns paying for dinners (date #3), threw a napkin at my face (date #4), made me cry (date #7), and spent most of the time we dated, telling me what to do. Yes, I shared date #3 details but neglected to fill in the blanks, embarrassed that I continue to date someone who wasn't that nice to me.
The Psychic to the Stars- Blind date set up by a complete stranger. How desperate was I? He wanted to do readings for Jeff Goldblum and gave me a personal reading. I was telepathically communicating the message, "you are full of shit", and wondered if it came across as soft whispers or loud screams. Blind dates signal desperation from your friends and family, but set up by a stranger???
Then there was the Jewish guy, who never made a peep during sex and had the tiniest penis, where I had to wonder if it was actually in me when we hit the sack. I could hear his neighbors garage door open and shut, 3 doors down, while he orgasmed. Not one moan escaped his lips which was weird. Odd in that he is so personable and outgoing with his clothes on... He goes down in history as the worst sex I've ever had.
Then there was the Italian guy back in my mid-20s who waited patiently on the sidelines until I dumped the biggest douchebag of them all. He was slick and personable, not quite the sharpest tool in the shed, but the life of the party when he showed up...also, goes down as the 2nd worst sex in history. He couldn't keep it up. It would rise, tilt right, and go flaccid in a couple minutes. He apologized and stroked it to try and have it salute me, but it never lasted more then a few minutes. This was pre-Viagra but it was so disappointing to have wasted a "number" on him.
I'm sure I will get some fallout for this and will pay for it in some way...lucky in that I'm not famous, sharing sordid details to Playboy, but I hope I don't lose any of you as my friend.
I have obviously disappeared for a few months, gathering material (dating) for those 6 readers of this site and preparing to launch a full website dedicated to dating, relationships, and a goodie bag selection of adult toys you may too embarrassed to visit the Hustler store for. Stay tuned for www.datingavengers.com. If you have any toys, books, advice to give, please email me! I need strong, sexy, smart, and vocal men who can give advice and contribute content or suggestions.
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